Is this the long awaited Tesla Model 3 Performance?
Tesla Model 3 Performance?
O.K., I’m not really sure it’s been long awaited or even if there is a need for a “Performance” Model 3.
Who really needs a car that can go really fast and get there really quickly when the top speed on most U.S. Highways is 75 MPH and the speed on most surface streets is 30 MPH?
Well, no one actually, but what does need have to do with why many people buy the cars they do? What many car people seem to have in common is the need for speed. Going fast and getting there quickly.
I’ve loved speed since I was a little kid. I used to race my little Honda XR75 most every day during the summer before I outgrew it.
Later after I got my drivers license I learned about understeer firsthand causing my fathers fairly new Mazda RX3 trying to go around a corner but instead it hit the curb in front of me with the front wheels turned damaging the front suspension. Sorry, I meant totaling the car but fortunately no one was hurt. My racing career for the next few years was limited to doing donuts in snow covered parking lots after that.
One thing that is lacking for most people and especially teenagers is professional instruction on how to drive not only a “Performance” car but cars in general. Taking drivers ed in high school if they still offer that never taught anyone how to drive a car this fast. 0-60 in 3.5 seconds. It might not be ludicrous but it sure as hell is insane. If you wonder why Tesla’s are crashing, this is why. Stupid people with a moderate amount of money now have access to super car performance. Yesterday you could buy a Tesla S with insane performance for about $65k used or $85k new but it is a very heavy car that the smart people only tested out the performance on drag strips or highway entrance lanes. A few morons tried it in school zones and most probably got away with it. When you’re doing 105 mph it doesn’t take much to screw up, big time. I was probably only going 35 when I took that corner in my fathers Mazda.
I digress, sorry. Back to is the car worth so much? I was invited to configure my Tesla and here is what I came up with.
Performance
Dual motor all wheel drive $64,000
Performance Upgrade $ 5,000
Midnight Silver Metallic $ 1,000
Premium White Interior $ 1,500
Enhanced Autopilot $ 5,000
Delivery and Doc Fee $ 1,000
Sales Tax 8% $ 6,120
Tax Rebate ($ 7,500)
Total Cost $75,120
That is some major coin for something that if you value your Drivers License, Freedom, and the lives of others to pay for a car that can only be properly experienced on a track.
So that brings up some more major questions.
How long will the battery last going around a track?
How long will it sustain peek performance without overheating?
How well do the upgraded brakes perform?
Will there be Superchargers at Race Tracks?
Will the car be a worthy track car for the price?
Will it out perform a BMW M3?
When will Elon let me drive the car around a race track?
I know there will be people with more money than brains who buy this car and have never taken a High Performance Driving class in their lives. There will also be people who take the awesome power they are given and abuse it on the street. I’m amazed with all the Tesla’s out there already that more people haven’t been creamed in intersections or crosswalks with people testing out the acceleration when the light turns green. Maybe they are still texting away or reading their email?
At $76K I’m not rich enough to take the risk to see just how awesome this car can be. In the mean time I will continue to pay about $1k every once in a while to attend High Performance driving schools where I can flog a BMW or Dodge SRT for a day or two on a track in a safe environment. If you lose your license what good is a $75k Super Car?
If my readers would like to help see if the Tesla 3 Performance is a BMW killer you can help sponsor me here. The first place it going is the track.
The following article linked below explains why the hatred is manufactured by people with a financial interest in seeing Tesla fail. Go figure, their are people who would profit from Tesla’s failure.
The cost difference between an EV and an ICE vehicle is still fairly large although narrowing.
Availability.
Not all car companies have an EV and the ones that do may not sell them in all 50 US States let alone the World.
Range Anxiety.
Most people “feel” they need the same range as their gas cars. If they felt the same way about their phones everyone would have a bulky battery case on their phone.
Styling. Most EV’s are subcompact cars with crappy interiors and either all or no modern options. You can either have the version with no cruise control or the one with 7 driver assistance functions.
Charging availability. Only Tesla cares about building a real charging infrastructure. Although most single family home dwellers don’t need to charge elsewhere there are more people who can’t charge at home. Again Tesla understands this.
Profit margins. There is far more to be made selling fully loaded SUV’s and pickup trucks. Just ask Ford.
The United States once again having elected a President that thinks fossil fuels are a badge of success. Figuratively having so much money we can afford to BURN it. Just like in the 1980’s when Ronald Reagan declared that solar panels were stupid in a Country with all the resources and money the US had. Maybe Tesla should build a kick ass Tesla Presidential Limo where its so good the Secret Service wants it.
And Trump wouldn’t have to ride in the same mundane and boring car Obama had. We made this just for you. And it’s special. You will be the first President to ever have one. Better yet, world leader to have one.
The five senses.
Hearing.
People love to hear the noise an engine makes, just search youtube for car sounds.
Sight and touch.
Most EV’s are ugly and use cheap materials.
Smell.
Many people like the smell of high octane fuel in the morning.
Taste.
Some people just don’t have any. Since I don’t think the sense of taste makes a difference i needed to make a homophone joke.
And I think one of the biggest reasons. They have never driven one. If they had they would be not only cheering for their success but pushing for it as well.
If Tesla can get to the promised price of a $35k EV that is like the current Model 3 base but with the promised smaller battery pack sales will take off faster than one of Elon’s rockets.
As many of you have a read my blog in the past know I’m a big fan of Tesla and Elon Musk.
Many of you may have read that Tesla is on track now to build 5,000 Model 3’s a week or more.
You also know that the Tesla game plan was to work their way down to building a car for the common man. Well, sorry, in my estimation they are no where near that goal, yet.
Apparently Tesla has invited all 500,000 or so people who put down a $1000 deposit to order their car. Remember when they said they would fill orders from the first to last but west coast to east coast? And we all know that right now that even if you don’t configure a single upgrade the car is going to cost $50k before sales tax and tax breaks. For me that would be $46,500 after the sales tax and $7.5k tax rebate.
In reality though once I choose a paint color other than black ($1k), the wheels that aren’t ugly($1.5k), the dual motor option ($4k) and the $5k advanced cruise control (auto-pilot) I’m at $60k is serious coin. O.K. so is $46,000.
This is not a Model S. Which configured about the same way would only be $20k more. Yet a far more useful car. A car that can fit the family for a long cross country trip. A car that gets free supercharging (with referral code). If you can afford $60k why not $80k?
And all this for a car brand that is about as reliable as Cell Phone service was in it’s infancy.
What’s it like to be turning left across traffic and have the the power steering stop working? Ask Marques Brownlee.
What’s it like to be driving along and have your screen go blank? Ask Ben Sullins.
Ben and his wife talk about why you really want this version because it’s the best battery for the buck and how having the most battery you can buy to get the best useful range possible only to say just a few minutes later how it would be great if the car could comfortably fit their family and gear for longer trips.
Like most people I want a Tesla because it doesn’t use gas, oil, spark plugs and mufflers. It eliminates the complexity of an internal combustion engine. The brakes last longer because of regenerative braking. But most of all the promise of autonomous driving.
Yes, I want a Tesla because of the advanced driving aids and potential of autonomous driving. But it’s still not that advanced. Adaptive cruise control and lane keeping assist isn’t really that advanced by todays standards. Tesla is in the same stage the iPhone was at the beginning when people thought they could use it as a phone. I have no doubt they will get there, one day. Today they are counting on the threshold of pain theory.
Could I change my mind. Maybe if I get inside one and take it for a few test drives. After all, that’s how I ended up married. Also not a financially rational decision. I haven’t been attached to a single car as long as I’ve been attached to my wife though.
Are there other cars worth looking at. More functional, almost as pretty but not quite the trophy wife the Tesla 3 is?
If you’ve read my previous posts you know I’m not a fan of the Bolt. And probably never will be. I don’t fit in it and they will never overcome that obstacle. I’m still a big fan of the Ford Focus EV but Ford isn’t so that could be a problem in the future. I am intrigued by the new Nissan Leaf. A car possibly taking a second look at now that Tesla hasn’t yet met its promise of a $35k car without rebates. When it does and it’s not as stripped as a VW Golf EV S Model whose SEL Model I actually like they might have something.
I hope Elon sells his 400,000 or so reservations the higher priced models. Because that’s what it’s going to take to get to the $35k car. If 300,000 people are waiting for the cheaper car like me, I’m not to sure he will get there. But if a rocket can take off and land safely he might just pull it off.
I’m telling rooting for you Elon. Hopefully you don’t end up like Nicola did.
I love that you want to make the Tesla a fully autonomous vehicle. Being in my mid 50’s I’ve seen what happens to our parents when they can, or no longer should drive, but hold on much longer than they should, to their cars and their licenses.
I also live in Arizona near one of the largest Senior Communities in the State. The accidents aren’t pretty and happen far to often, many times with devastating results.
This is the probably one of the best reasons I see for advancing the autonomous vehicle. For people who for whatever reason can no longer or never were able to drive (blindness).
But I hear you talk about how I’m going to send my car out to work when I’m not using it. I have also heard you talk about how those who drive for a living are going to lose their jobs to autonomy. That might be true. But, I can tell you have probably never driven a taxi or given an Uber ride. If you had, you’d know how crazy it sounds. I have a hard enough time parking in a public lot, where scratches and dents are a fairly normal occurrence, and no one claims responsibility. Once in a while something like this happens:
And I’m not talking about that she has passed out and isn’t getting out of the car without calling the police.
In the old days when Taxi Drivers and Owners could make a living, GM and Ford made Taxicab versions of their cars. While many of the options will not be needed by an Electric car, like bigger brakes and larger cooling systems to sit long periods in heavy traffic, I can think of a few that will be very necessary.
The biggest need, very heave duty upholstery, where when someone vomits or leaves any other bodily fluid it is easily cleaned. No leather, no carpet, something you can easily hose out. And without a driver, how will we know when the car needs a good cleaning before it gets to the next passenger? Who enforces the no smoking rule?
I also am guessing that you aren’t accounting for the passenger that opens the door into traffic. So far only the back doors on the X are vertical opening. On the cheaper S and 3, having a door get hit without a system to prevent it, like a human, I see it happening far more often and it does happen more often than you might think. And those doors and seats are going to have a lot of cycles on them. Something very few passenger cars are built to handle. It’s not uncommon for hinges to crack like a kid flexing an aluminum can till it cracks.
Then you have passengers that want to get in or out right in front of their origin/destination. Can your car do that, yet? Stop in a lane of traffic and open the doors?
You say that you can set your car so only family, friends or 5 star passengers can use it. Whose going to give the passenger the stars, HAL? Can it smell body odor? Remember the Seinfeld episode with the valet?
If the car gets hit who’s going to call the police and fill out the police report?
Whose going to help put luggage or groceries in the trunk?
There is one other thing I hear you talk about. That the cost of a car (I assume you mean cost per mile) is going to be so cheap that it won’t make sense to ride the bus.
I’m not sure how you figure that but lets give it a try. Right now in Phoenix Uber pays 70 cents a mile and 7 cents per minute. Now we all know the car is only being paid with a passenger in it. If you are lucky that half the time and half of the miles driven. In the end the driver gets 35 cents a mile and 3 cents per minute. Actually less because Uber gets 20-25%. How much are you going to keep?
If a car drives an average of 30mph and is driving with a fair half the time thats $2 in time and $10.50 per hour. Or a total of $12.50 per hour. Then Uber gets there piece, $3.13 or $9.37 an hour. That equates to 31 cents per mile.
Right now based on that number Uber drivers are working pretty much for free as there are almost no cars out there that cost less than 31 cents per mile when you add up all the costs to operate.
If a Model 3 costs $50k and you can get 500k miles out of it depreciation alone is 13 cents per mile. Add about 6 cents per mile in electricity and we have 19 cents a mile so far. Thats about 5 years of driving in a cab in a major city and most new cabs barely last 4 years but were going to give your car every opportunity.
That will probably take 10 sets of tires or $7k, 7 sets of brakes at $300 or $2100 and 5 years of insurance at $3k or $15k. Lets add $2k a year for incidentals which is also probably low. About another $5k a year. So total $25k more divided by 500k is another 5 cent per mile.
So we are now at .25 cents per mile. If we look at the cost of an Uber with a driver there is 6 cents per mile profit.
If your car can meet my assumptions that’s a $6k a year return on a $50k investment or 12%. That’s pretty good and even better if you can double your paid miles.
But, odds are better that you’ll only get 300k miles out of the car, not 500k. If that happens the returns are negative.
And there is one other catch. And we can thank Uber for this one. There is no longer a barrier to entry. Anybody can put on one car or one hundred cars. The reason Uber fares are so cheap is because there are more Uber drivers than cockroaches. Uber drivers don’t do the math so they work for next to nothing. I’m not sure a person would let another person they don’t know in their cars unsupervised. Although it pretty obvious they will give people rides for close to free. If I lived in New York, San Francisco or San Diego I’m not that sure I would even own a car anymore.
I spent a week in DC last month and had a rental for just one day. Between Uber and Public Transportation we spent less than $100 for the week. Who needs a car.
I will buy a Tesla that is fully autonomous when that price hits $50k or less but I’m sure as hell not letting anybody but family ride in it.
The only way I’d buy more than one and operate it like a taxicab is if it made financial sense. The only way to do that is limit the number of cars out there. But, I think that cat is already had it’s nine lives.
One last problem with self driving cars and ride sharing. Ride sharing only works because people see giving rides as a way to get others to pay for their car. The fewer people with cars the fewer people willing to share for cheap. Does that solve the problem of getting more per mile? Maybe.
Toyota introduced the first Prius in 1996. And it wasn’t sold in the U.S. till 2000. Most car makers didn’t take the Prius serious for years and even today offer very few hybrid and even fewer fully electric vehicles. And almost 20 years later the Prius or any hybrid aren’t sales leaders by any stretch of the imagination.
Even before the Prius G.M. built the EV1. And the promptly killed it 4 years later. It had a cult following but had G.M. kept it around I doubt it would have made much traction. It was a basic car with little luxury and of limited use. And for that same reason I bet the Bolt won’t do a whole lot better. Almost every other EV currently made or coming soon to a dealer near you are luxury cars. And we can thank Tesla for that. Even the Tesla 3 is going to be nice.
Tesla introduced the first Tesla, the Roadster in 2008 at the beginning of the worst economy since the Great Depression. In 2012 the Model S hit the streets and less than 5 years later luxury car makers have realized that they have lost a lot of sales to Tesla. Luxury six figure sales.
Once the Model 3 comes out BMW and Even Ford and Chevy are not going to lose many sales. Tesla won’t be able to keep up with the demand. As long as BMW, Mercedes and Porsche/Audi/VW, not a small company by any measure have far more capacity to build cars people want. They even have them within a year or two of being on showroom floors.
Tesla on the other hand is constrained by limited production capability. There is a site, teslanomics.com that has a Tesla 3 delivery estimator.
If you don’t already own a Tesla and don’t live in California and put down your $1k today you won’t see your car for 2 years.
Maybe the U.S. and Japanese carmakers will see that electric cars are not only here to stay but about to change the way we think about transportation.
Volvo has recently announced that all cars from 2019 and beyond will offer some type of electrification.
That doesn’t mean that they are going to build only battery electric vehicles like Tesla.
All that means is that every vehicle they build will have one type of “special” electric component.
That could be a hybrid combination, plugin or not, or just a 48 volt mild hybrid. It could be as little as the Mazda type E-Loop system where regenerative brakes charge a capacitor and adds and extra MPG or two.
Mercedes, BMW and Porsche are actually way ahead in that they have already committed to or currently have hybrids, plugin hybrids or a full BEV coming out in the next model year or two.
While I applaud Volvo their market share is barely half a million cars a year. But like Elon always says. His mission was to start the other automakers down the path of electrified mobility.
This may be the last generation to own a car. When I came of age in the mid 1970’s getting your license was what every 15 year old looked forward to. My first job after I got my license was delivering pizza. A job that gave me plenty of spending money while going to high school. It paid enough so I could take flying lessons once every week or two. I got my private pilots license when I was 18.
I loved to drive. Almost as much as I liked to fly. Driving was just something my friends and I liked to do. And like most teenagers we spent money on upgrading our car stereo and other engine modifications. My boss at the pizza place had a 1976 Pontiac TransAm that he spent big bucks so it could go really, really fast.
My second job was driving a taxi. Once I turned 18 I could get a Taxi license in the Chicago Suburbs. I took some of the money I saved while delivering pizza and used it to paint a car in with a pretty young company looking to expand, American Taxi. I spent the next 3 years driving that cab and getting my commercial pilots license while attending college.
During my 35 years of living in Chicago almost all of them were living in an apartment. And the most stressful part of owning a car in the city for most people is finding a place to park. Most new construction in most cities requires that the builder provide a certain amount of parking spaces for each resident. In the good old days they didn’t have those rules. The building we lived when I was in high school had 3 spaces for 12 apartments. Our family alone had 3 cars. I would spend 20-30 minutes every night driving in circles waiting for someone to leave so I could park.
When I was in my 20’s my apartment building that had 72 apartments in it had 1, yes one parking space and that one was the perk for the live in janitor. There were days I wouldn’t leave the house once I got home so I wouldn’t lose my space. Thank god for pizza and chinese delivery.
That was 20 years ago now. Today I live in Phoenix where parking is pretty plentiful and every house new house has a two or three car garage. But that’s Phoenix. A fairly new city where construction has mostly been done requiring parking.
In old cities like Chicago, New York and Philadelphia parking is so expensive many people can’t afford a car. Uber is just for avoiding DUI’s anymore.
And my job takes me many places. In the old days I would rent a car. Today Uber is usually a cheaper way to get around town. No worries about bringing the car back with a full tank. No paying for parking and most of all I don’t have to get the sales pitch on why I should buy the overpriced collision damage insurance.
One other thing. Try and find a mechanic if you need something as minor as a flat repaired. This last month while visiting Washington DC we did rent a car for one day. And we did get a nail in a tire. We had to drive almost 50 miles before we found a shop that could fix it. If you don’t buy the road service protection you’re not covered. That was an extra $20 for the repair. Tires aren’t covered by your rental contract.
Most millennials are realizing that owning a car is no longer something you have to do. As long as your mobile internet communication device there are many cars nearby willing to give you a cheap ride.
Even my wife is starting to use Amazon instead of driving to the mall just to find out the store doesn’t have what she’s looking for in stock. That saves me money as every mile she drives costs me at least 50 cents. And even if the car never leaves the garage it costs close to $500 a month for convenience.
And the death of shopping malls will only accelerate the demise of private car ownership.
Self driving cars will be the final nail as there will be an abundance of cars available 24/7. Our cars barely get used 2 hours a day. That’s a lot of capital sitting around depreciating.
If airliners only got 1/12 utilization there wouldn’t be airplanes.
I think the magic number for autonomous cars is going to need to come in at about 25 cents per mile for investors to fill the need and for individual car ownership to go away for many city dwellers.
Eliminating the driver can only help decrease the cost per mile.
And that’s why Silicon Valley has the upper hand in this new auto world. At least today. The hardware is pretty basic. Tesla has proven they can build a car that drives.
G.M. and Ford have barely gotten their radio to work with CarPlay let alone update their system remotely.
Tesla is dog years if not light years ahead in programming the automotive robot.
Walking, talking, human like robots that show emotion and will have sex with their owners are far from reality but the rolling, pod that gets you to show emotion is here, and Tesla is on the lead. They can even get it to come with the swipe of a finger on that other magical device, the smart phone.
I’ve been writing a lot about Tesla lately. It’s not just because I drove one. I’m trying to find a reason to buy one. The cheapest new Tesla S you can build is $76k before sales taxes or tax incentives. So that’s still about $76k all said and done.
Now add the options on my list, Premium Upgrade, Enhanced Autopilot and Full Self Driving adds another $12k. And what’s a luxury car without leather and a sunroof. Add another $6k to the price tag. All in for $88k or lease for $1200 a month for a 1000 mile a month limit. That’s a $1.20 a mile before insurance, washes, electricity, tires. And don’t forget repairs or parking lot dings. Maybe Tesla needs to invent a force field so you don’t stress at the grocery store.
You could take an Uber everywhere for less. And Uber includes a driver. Actually Uber is so cheap in most places that I’m not sure there is a reason to own a car anymore. Once you add up all your expenses to operate a car I seriously doubt Uber drivers are making the minimum wage for servers let alone $10 an hour.
Speaking of Uber. If you have never used Uber. Use the code Z4JRI for $20 off your first ride.
If you are like me and have never used Lyft. Use the code DOGFOOD and get up to $20 off your first ride.
I have to confess. Just like most people logic is the last thing I think of when I test drive or shop for a car. We buy cars using our emotion. If not we would all be driving the modern equivalent of the Amish horse and buggy. So let me tell you about my emotional experience at the Tesla Store. Notice I didn’t say dealer.
If you are like most people you hate going to the car dealer to buy a car. Buying a car is more like the death of a thousand cuts. The sales person, the sales manager, the back and forth and psychological games they play. And just when you think it’s over the guy doing the paperwork is another gauntlet of horrors before you can get out the door. And like Richard Gere in First Knight, no matter how hard you train or prepare you might feel like you won in that final moment but in the end you lost. The dealer always wins.
Unlike the car dealer the Tesla Store is completely different. Like the Apple Store it is best to make an appointment online to be sure they have a “co-pilot” who can take you out for a drive. They don’t have tens of people sitting around waiting to make a commission like a car dealership.
The day prior to your scheduled appointment a person will call and ask you if you have any questions they can answer or if you have a trade in. I’m not sure how the trade would work as I didn’t have one nor did I plan on walking out with a new car on my test drive. If you have done that please leave a comment below on how that worked.
Probably, like most Tesla buyers I already know quite a bit about the car and the company. Did I say they aren’t trying to sell you a car. Just kidding. They are just doing it in a subtle non threatening way. His/her real job is to ask you questions, so when you get in the store they are’t wasting time playing the get to know you bonding game.
What I didn’t know is that most Tesla buyers have never spent more than $40k on a car before. Most people aren’t buying this car for status or to show the neighbors how rich they are or want you to think they are. Many just want a Tesla. It’s just that cool, technology wise. It’s not plush or refined by any stretch. It’s more IKEA than Ethan Allen. It’s the symbolic equal of getting a tattoo for many. They don’t care what you think. They just have to have it. Although I doubt there are college students going without Mac n Cheese so they can afford one.
On to the Test Drive.
I grab my lab rat, sorry. My 13 year old, 6 foot 2 inch son. We jump in my plebeian Mazda 6. Not really. It’s a really nice $24k car with plenty of neat safety options, just not the really cool ones Tesla has, and drive the 15 minutes to the really nice Tesla Showroom/Delivery/Service Center in Tempe, A.Z.
We find a place to park, not an easy task, with very few open tiny spaces (by design) and go inside. We are greeted by a young man (definitely not your average car salesman) who checks us in and tells us our co-pilot is getting our car ready.
Out walks Emily. Also not your average car sales person. She could just as easily have been a lawyer or a barista at Starbucks or young dudes sister. She was far to good looking to be his girlfriend. She introduces herself and we proceed outside to our ride de jour.
Less than 4 days later as I write this I can’t tell you what color the car was or what color interior it had. Only that the headliner was drab and it had no grab handles over the doors. The red P90D in the showroom was far more memorable.
As we approach the car and she opens the driver door and says “hey you, get in to my car”. And I say, “who me”? Just kidding Billy Ocean fans. She does open the door and ask me to get into the car and set the seat and mirrors.
Being it’s in a narrow space and I’m not a tiny guy I ask her if we can see it drive itself out of the space. Summon Mode. With a touch of the cute car shaped key fob it pulls itself out of the space. There is also an app for that.
We all pile into the car. Emily on the passenger side front seat and my son in back in the seat behind me. If a taller than 6 footer can sit comfortably behind another 6 footer then the leg room is adequate or better. Also the back seat headroom of most cars is not designed for people over 6 feet tall. They just figure the kids are going in back. Before I forget. The car turns itself on as you approach. It even extends to hidden door handles for you.
Now to be fair I have already driven a Tesla S P90D before. It belongs to a friend. But, I only did the usual 0 – 60 crazy type driving in an industrial area on a weekend where it was deserted. We didn’t drive on the highway or in city traffic. That’s what this test drive was all about. Using the autopilot function in traffic on the highway and in the city.
So out we go from the parking lot and down the 2 blocks to get on to the expressway. It’s about 1PM on a weekday. A good amount of traffic but not rush hour. Maybe we were cruising along at 55 – 65. On goes the autopilot. The car does a really good job of holding the center lane and keeping a safe distance from the car ahead of you.
It’s blind spot monitoring is a bit odd if you are used to most other cars. It does not have an indicator on the side mirrors or give you an audible warning if you put on your turn signal.
The small OLED screen in front of you has a little sonar type indication if there is a car next to you. You can also see cars sneaking up on you on the big center display with the rear camera on.
If you put on the turn signal with autopilot and there is a car in the blind spot, or to your side it will not go. But if the area doesn’t clear in a set amount of time it will just cancel the lane change. It won’t change lanes when it’s clear. It requires that you pay attention and don’t put the lane change indicator on till you have determined that the area is clear. Then it will make the change for you. It also requires that once you change lanes you turn off the blinker. It will also only change one lane per indication. If you need to cross three lanes of traffic to exit an expressway it won’t do that in one blinker command. Still it is by far the best adaptive cruise control that I have ever used. No hands and no feet required. Well, actually you do get asked to place your hands on the wheel every so often. Probably to make sure you’re not sleeping.
Next off the expressway and into city traffic. Here the lane holding ability is not that great. It needs a supply of unending lane lines to know where it is. Curbs on the right or left and it can’t stay centered. Another place even if you are in a center lane where you have lines on either side is crossing an intersection. No lines on either side there. In these places you will need to steer the car yourself. But it does go from zero to the speed limit and back again very well. And if you you have a car in front of you it will play follow the leader for speed and distance. Including coming to a full stop and starting back up when the car in front starts moving.
If you are the first car at an intersection it won’t stop for a red light or go on a green light. Maybe one day but not yet. I wonder if when that happens it will know to move out of the way of an emergency vehicle? Elon?
This is where I noticed that the car didn’t have grab handles over the doors. Really Elon. That’s as bad as having left out the reading lights in earlier versions. Maybe in the next version instead of worrying about bioweapon level air handling or fancy doors you can add them. Cup holders? It now has cupholders. Weird ones. It might require some sit time in one trying to see if I like them or not.
Now it’s time to get back on the highway. We need a entrance ramp to test out that Tesla acceleration. We did use the software hack to dumb the acceleration rate down from the P90D to that of the base Model 75, as I said earlier I have already done the 0 to 60 in 3 seconds thing. It’s not required by a normal, sane person who uses logic to buy a car. To spend an extra $10-15k for something you will barely ever use or piss most everyone else off on the road when you do. The Spock in me says no. Even though Kirk always got the women. Actually most women aren’t turned on by guys in cool cars. Men are. Just ask Doug Demuro.
I can say that 0 to 65 in the Base Model 75 is plenty of speed getting on the expressway or having to pass most any common car.
The Tesla also drives very nicely. It handles as well or better than my Mazda 6 or a BMW and drives nothing like my Prius V. The Prius V has about as much soul a a washing machine. The Tesla is quiet. You can have a conversation and never have to raise your voice. I have no doubt the Tesla will save the lives of many pedestrians from their texting, talking, twittering, web surfing drivers. It might also save the lives of Tesla drivers from texting, talking, twittering, web surfing drivers that aren’t driving a Tesla.
It’s now time to exit the expressway and back to the showroom. The transition for autopilot to human and back is pretty unobtrusive. My son has enjoyed the half hour or so ride in the back seat spending part of his time texting, taking pictures and filming some of the drive.
We enter the parking lot where the spaces are tight and the lanes are narrow. And earlier I did say this is by design. It’s to show off another Tesla technology. Self parking. You pull just past the space where you want to park, very close to the side of the car. You put the car in reverse and tap the touch screen and the car will park itself. Magic. Only one problem. Again my fat ass doesn’t want to shimmy out the door between two parked cars. Easily solved. Pull forward and get out. Rub the key fob in just the right way and presto change-o, the car parks itself. Walk away and it shuts itself off and locks the doors. Did I say there is an app for that? It will even pre-heat or pre-cool the car before you get there.
Back inside Emily asks if I were to buy the car today what would i like in my perfect Tesla? We then go to the computer and see if there is anything currently in stock. And just like any other car dealer she is more than helpful showing me what they have and should I plan on buying, today would be a good day. Or if not today before the end of the month as there are certain specials and incentives ending shortly.
The big difference is they don’t hold you or your keys hostage. And I don’t think they offered me a bottle of water 20 different times. And she offered to email me if a car like the one that I really want happens to be built or shows up in the system for sale. I doubt it will as most of the demo cars they build are near the upper end of the price scale. They are also the ones with the bigger incentives off list price.
Also I wonder if paying $100k for a car that spartan compared to a Porsche Panamera E-hybrid, within a few thousand dollars is a better emotional decision. The Porsche is like having First Class seats in the cockpit of a Boeing 757 with the performance to match. The Tesla is like sitting in the cockpit of a Airbus 320. Including all the auto safety features and whiz bang electronics. Did I mention I fly an Airbus for a living?
After driving the Tesla we proceeded directly to the Chevrolet Dealer to look at a Bolt. To read that review Click Here.
I would definitely wait for a Tesla 3 before I bought a Bolt
And after that we went over to the Porsche dealer to look at a Panamera. That review has yet to be written.
My son, like most people who bought an EV this year are squarely in the Tesla camp. So far this year, the Tesla S has outsold the Panamera E almost 1000 to 1. Maybe that is why Porsche and almost every other luxury car maker is coming out with an electric car.
I am now going to list the pros of buying a Tesla.
Cutting edge technology that is updated often by incremental software advances without having to buy the newest model.
Contemporary styling.
Kids dig them. They aren’t hung up on horsepower and the growl of a gasoline engine. They don’t like the smell of napalm in the morning or fuel in the cabin.
Cons:
Cost. There are a lot of other things you can do with $1200 dollars a month for 3 years or more. Get 15 one hour massages a month. Buy a timeshare in Hawaii and spend a week a month there.
You could also buy a LG OLED Big Screen TV and watch a lot of youporn for just 3 months payments.
Now that will let me add one more pro I did not think of before. The Tesla comes standard with 3G LTE and that huge touchscreen in the center. You could watch youporn while letting the car drive you around during your commute everyday. Yes, it will allow the driver full access to anything while it’s driving.
So the next time you see a Red Tesla S driving in the HOV lane on I-10 in Phoenix with limo tint, now you know what the driver is doing inside. No wonder why the Tesla is such a popular car. We all know the internet was invented so people could get free porn. Now we know why the Tesla was invented. So we could watch porn on a big screen while driving to work. I finally found the only reason you can use to really justify spending six figures on a car. Porn.
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